I was so honored to find out recently that a fellow blogger, lovinghomemade, decided to spread some love and nominate A Thousand Threads for the Addictive Blog Award… a huge honor because the award comes from someone who understands exactly what it takes, and she still likes my blog… so thank you lovinghomemade, it really means a ton.
But here’s the thing… the award requires that the nominated blogger share a little bit about why they blog, and when I thought about it, I realized that I’ve never really answered that question.
In fact, I’m not even sure it’s something I’ve ever fully thought through. Deep down, of course, I know… but even now, it’s not easy to put into words why I do this thing, night after night… keeping my poor guy awake so long he falls asleep on the floor while waiting for me to finish up and head to bed, only to wake up to another day of work and another night of blogging.
Wow okay that probably doesn’t sound very appealing at all… but it is, I swear it. I’ll try to make the case a little better below…
When I first started blogging, it felt… weird, wrong even. In fact, I was a little embarrassed. Not just because I was feeling my way through the process, totally in the dark… but also because I was scared to put myself out there. I worried that people would think I was crazy… or vain… or that I thought I was so perfect that my life should be shared (or worse, that my life would have to look perfect for anyone to want to read).
… but I’m far from perfect. In fact, I’ve fucked up a lot.
I didn’t start to share the blog right away… I had to be coaxed a little to really put it out there (I might still). But eventually I did, and through the process of sharing I have learned that blogging is actually pretty awesome… there’s a whole super-supportive community of other bloggers out there who make my world (however tiny a little piece of the internet) a way better place.
Before those folks, I’m not sure I would have even had the courage to dream of someday becoming a writer or working for myself.
The truth is, I’ve had a lot of dreams in my life, but I’ve never had the confidence to pursue the ones that required the most faith. I’ve never taken a leap without knowing that there was a net to catch me when I fell… but that’s not the life I want to live.
Should I fall and break myself into a thousand pieces, I want to know that I had the courage to fly… even if my wings might fail me.
I blog because blogging is both a leap and a journey… and I have no idea where it might end. But for the first time, I’m ready to take that risk.
Good or bad, the existence of this blog pushes me to take more risks and set the bar just that much higher each day… hoping that one day my actions can live up to my dreams.
I blog because through blogging I am accountable for my words, my actions, and my dreams… and because through blogging, I hope to make sure that I never fail to follow those dreams again.
I blog because someday, I hope for this blog to be a place that inspires others to pursue the really far off dreams that seem impossible… and because I’m hoping to find a little inspiration in myself.
Photo: Mark and I, taken by Steve Steinhardt