The good kind of procrastination

the good kind of procrastination / a thousand threads
I’ve been thinking a lot lately about saying no – or, learning to say no. You see I’m not really built that way. I’m more of a worrier… saying no could mean a missed opportunity, a missed opportunity could mean a major setback, and a major setback could mean the end of the world (hey you never know…).

… except that it’s never the end of the world. And sometimes, in order to stay sane, you have to know when to just let it all go.

I keep thinking back to a post I remember reading on Jess’ blog, where she talks about making a conscious decision not to worry now about the things that can wait for the future.

Or to put it simply… “let’s not try to figure out everything at once.”

So the next time I have a worry about the future, or a priority that doesn’t need to be at the top of the list, I’m putting it on Future Laicie’s to-do list.

After all, Future Laicie has her shit together – she can figure it out.

What about you? Are you a worrier who has trouble saying no? Or are you all zen and shiny and never stressed?

(If you are I want your secret… is it green tea?

I think it might be green tea…)

Photo via.

25 Comments

  1. Posted December 17, 2013 at 9:36 am | Permalink

    I struggled with saying “no” for a very long time. It’s hard, because for a while, I was afraid of looking disrespectful. But I have that letting someone know that I have to respectfully say no is a lot easier than just saying “uhhh…no.”

    Not sure if that helps, but yeah!

    Oh, and…yeah, I think green tea helps a little…

    • Laicie
      Posted December 17, 2013 at 7:56 pm | Permalink

      No it totally does — I’m weird and will rehearse my response in my head like a thousand times before I can ever get it out. I have to psyche myself up. 🙂

  2. Posted December 17, 2013 at 10:09 am | Permalink

    I am exactly the same! Perhaps we are kindred spirits. It’s hard not to worry and i find it ever harder to say no (especially to family and friends), although i know sometimes i really should. I wish i had that gene that just makes me relax in times like that, especially around the holidays when it’s easy to get worked up and worried about so many little things.
    However, what i will say is that even though “the worrier” can sound like a bad thing, i sometimes find it helps me to make sure i put others before myself. and those days, it’s not a bad thing 🙂

    • Laicie
      Posted December 17, 2013 at 7:54 pm | Permalink

      It does have a good side too, you’re right. 🙂

  3. Posted December 17, 2013 at 10:32 am | Permalink

    Yes, yes, yes, to all of it. I have recently begun this really great practice. It is difficult to follow because of my natural worrying tendencies, but it is really helpful. Everyday I have a worry block, and throughout the day, every time I find myself worrying about something that could occur more than one day away, I tell myself to let it go, and come back to it during my worry block. During my worry block I do a writing exercise, analyzing the worry and it’s probability. It is pretty amazing what it does to me and is helpful in creating more intentional thoughts throughout the day.

    • Laicie
      Posted December 17, 2013 at 7:52 pm | Permalink

      You’re brilliant! That’s such a good idea!!

  4. Posted December 17, 2013 at 11:06 am | Permalink

    i’m such a big worrier. so much so that i let people push me around and make decisions for me. it’s awful. i’m trying to change but it’s so hard! i’m not confrontational at all and i hate to make other people angry or disappointed so i just sit back and let them take the reins. then i come home and stress about it far too much. i saw a quote yesterday that really stuck with me:

    there are only two days in the year that nothing can be done.one is called yesterday and the other is called tomorrow, so today is the right day to love, believe, do and mostly live.

    trying to live by that and not worry about tomorrow or yesterday 🙂

    • Laicie
      Posted December 17, 2013 at 7:50 pm | Permalink

      Oh Bri, I know just what you mean. I can do the same and it’s gotten me into some big trouble in the past. Such a good quote, I’ll be working on the same!

  5. Posted December 17, 2013 at 11:31 am | Permalink

    I’ve become less of a worrier as the years have come and gone. I’ve learned that I spent way too much time worrying about pleasing everyone and I’ve learned to focus on the people who make me happy. It’s definitely helped change the way I view things in my life.

    • Laicie
      Posted December 17, 2013 at 7:48 pm | Permalink

      Good for you!! I’m working on it, maybe one of these days I’ll join you. 🙂

  6. Posted December 17, 2013 at 12:19 pm | Permalink

    I was going to write, “I’m GREAT at saying no!” and then I realized something. I actually suck at it. So badly that I didn’t even notice until I sat and thought about it for a minute. Because I live across the country from my family and so many of my friends, I think there are fewer demands, but it makes it impossible to saying no when someone comes calling on me. And of course, these are people who I love very much–but I need to be better about taking care of my needs before rushing to help others.

    • Laicie
      Posted December 17, 2013 at 7:47 pm | Permalink

      Aww I know exactly what you mean… here’s to a resolution to add to both of our lists. xoxo

  7. Posted December 17, 2013 at 12:43 pm | Permalink

    Oh, I’m exactly like you, Laicie!! I’m a worrier because I think about the future too much and possible outcomes…what if’s…. It’s hard not to do, but I think that for the sake of our sanity, we need to just take it easy and stop worrying all the time about the what if’s and just do what makes us happy. If it’s going to stress us out, then we just need to learn to let it go! Great post my dear (and thanks for the reminder!)

    • Laicie
      Posted December 17, 2013 at 7:46 pm | Permalink

      And thanks to you too. 🙂 It’s good to know I’m not alone!

  8. Posted December 17, 2013 at 12:55 pm | Permalink

    That’s pretty much exactly what I need to do too. I’m a constant worrier, and it’s terrible! You’re so right – our future selves definitely have their shit together. We should probably just let them figure it all out.

    I think I just need to remind myself sometimes that life is good. It doesn’t need to be perfect to be good, we just need to be grateful that it is.

    xoxo

    • Laicie
      Posted December 17, 2013 at 7:45 pm | Permalink

      I just wanna give you a hug. 🙂 We should… it’s hard to remember sometimes but it’s so important.

  9. Posted December 17, 2013 at 1:48 pm | Permalink

    I also struggle with saying no to people, and then I end up over committing. No fun. I always worry that if I say no I might be missing out on something (but most of the time I’m not). You can do it girl!! 🙂
    xo TJ

    http://www.hislittlelady.com

    • Laicie
      Posted December 17, 2013 at 7:43 pm | Permalink

      Thanks lady. 😉 You too!

  10. Posted December 17, 2013 at 1:57 pm | Permalink

    I’m such a worrier myself! i mean all the time, even if there’s nothing to worry about. it is nice to see that people out there share the same “worrier issues” with me. but the truth is that we need to let some things go… Anyway, let me know if green tea helps 🙂

    • Laicie
      Posted December 17, 2013 at 7:42 pm | Permalink

      Oh ya — me too. And I couldn’t agree more. I’ll let you know if it works! 😉

  11. Posted December 17, 2013 at 2:59 pm | Permalink

    I’m a worrier, a planner, a woman who’s always hoping to be in control of her own destiny. I think often my personality type gets me ahead because along with the aforementioned qualities, I’m really driven. BUT, at times constantly worrying about, thinking about, and planning the future can be exhausting. I guess it doesn’t really matter how “ahead” you’ve gotten yourself if you haven’t stopped long enough to enjoy the ride. I’m trying to relax and enjoy my life for what it is now!

    • Laicie
      Posted December 17, 2013 at 7:41 pm | Permalink

      You’re so right! In many ways it can be a good thing, but I tell myself that ALL the time. It’s no good if you can’t enjoy it.

  12. Posted December 17, 2013 at 4:57 pm | Permalink

    I definitely struggle with saying no! And I pretty much worry constantly. Becoming a mom has both helped me with learning to say no and made me more of a worrier. So there’s that.

    • Laicie
      Posted December 17, 2013 at 7:40 pm | Permalink

      Aww I guess at least that’s half good! 😉 Kids definitely take worrying to a whole new level.

  13. Leanna
    Posted December 19, 2013 at 11:17 pm | Permalink

    Speaking of kids…your mom here…Unfortunately you inherited your worrying qualities naturally with me as your mom. UGG! But you are also trying to DO everything and be everyone and you are going to wear yourself out. Take your friends advice…and your own. Drink some green tea and put it all in prospective. I saw a quote once on a reader board t hat said ” What were you worried about this time last year?” You probably can’t remember. So maybe it wasn’t worth all that worry….I try to think of this. It doesn’t help but I think of it…ha ha…Love you sweetie. Wish I had answer.
    Mom

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