Mark’s nain’s zucchini bread

mark's nain's zucchini bread // a thousand threads
Food can be a lot of things. A memory, a philosophy, a sweater when you’re out in the cold. A meal can be eloquent when there are no words, which is good because for the past week, I’ve found I have few.

We came back early last Sunday, crawling into bed in the wee hours of the morning, exhausted but still buzzing from the amazing weekend we’d had.

About three hours later, Mark went off to work like he always does, and about three hours after that, he called to ask me to come pick him up.

The company had been having a worse year than expected. We knew this, but we’d also been reassured, time and again, that we shouldn’t worry. Any changes that were made wouldn’t affect us. Until they did.

Mark was the last in and, true to the phrase, the first out. We didn’t see it coming at all.

mark's nain's zucchini bread // a thousand threads
For a week now, a little more, I’ve found myself walking around in a fog. My to-do list is longer than ever, but ticking it off feels like trudging through glue. I’ve wanted to say something… to tell you all how weird it feels to write about our weekend, or our trip, or anything else at all without giving you the bigger picture… or how weird it feels, even now, to say it out loud. To acknowledge that it happened at all. To acknowledge how scared I am… or how hurt.

mark's nain's zucchini bread // a thousand threads
And maybe I’m paralyzed by that fear, or maybe it just took me some time to build up the energy to admit it. But of course I’m scared. I’m a worrier by trade.

Even on the good days I’m waiting for a shoe to drop.

I’m worried about the trip we’re set to go on in just over two weeks. I’m worried about the moment our money runs out. I’m worried about the long-term effect all of this could have on our lives… but most of all, I’m worried about the person I love more than anything else in this world.

mark's nain's zucchini bread // a thousand threads
My heart breaks for the talent he has and the hard work I’ve seen him put in, only to run into something like this. It breaks for even the slightest doubt in his mind about his ability, or the slightest fear he might have that any of this could be his fault. It wants to scream at everyone, just so they’ll understand how unfair it all is, and no one, because it knows that they already do.

mark's nain's zucchini bread // a thousand threads
Things don’t always work out the way you’ve planned.

I know that, in the end, we’ll be okay. I know that it might even work out for the better. But right now, beyond that, I know very little… and I have very few words.

But I do have zucchini bread with ice cream. And friends and family whose love means more than ever.

So for now, this little bit of comfort food will have to say what I can’t.

mark's nain's zucchini bread // a thousand threads
Mark’s nain’s (his grandmother’s) zucchini bread

3 eggs
1 cup oil
1 cup brown sugar
1 cup granulated sugar
3 teaspoons vanilla
2 cups grated zucchini
3 cups flour
2 teaspoons salt
2 teaspoons baking soda
1/2 teaspoon baking powder
1 teaspoon cinnamon
3/4 cup chopped walnuts

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Beat eggs. Add oil, sugar, and vanilla. Stir in zucchini.

Separately, combine flour, salt, baking soda, baking powder, nuts, and cinnamon.

Stir flour mixture into zucchini mixture. Divide batter evenly into two greased and floured (or lined) 5×9 loaf pans.

Bake for 50 minutes to an hour.

mark's nain's zucchini bread // a thousand threads

19 Comments

  1. Posted August 6, 2014 at 12:02 pm | Permalink

    Oh Laicie, I am so sorry. My heart breaks for you guys, but I also have faith that things have a way of working themselves out. That doesn’t mean that when I was jobless I wasn’t utterly terrified and calling my friends for reassurance. But I just know that for as devastating as this all is, comfort food, love and the amazing people in your lives will get you through.

    • Laicie
      Posted August 7, 2014 at 5:42 pm | Permalink

      Oh Lena, you are one of those amazing people. Thank you so much, the reassurance is everything right now. xoxo

  2. Brittany
    Posted August 6, 2014 at 12:12 pm | Permalink

    I’m sorry to hear that. I went through something similar with my husband. It was tough but we made it through and you will too :)

    • Laicie
      Posted August 7, 2014 at 5:41 pm | Permalink

      I know we will, but it’s good to hear it. :) Thanks lady.

  3. Posted August 6, 2014 at 12:25 pm | Permalink

    I’m so sorry for both of you! I willingly quit my job a couple of months ago to take a break. I wonder and worry almost daily what I will do next. And that’s when I made the choice.

    I know you are both strong and will get through it. As you mentioned, you have family and friends supporting you (in addition to your online community). Hang in there, I’ll be sending good thoughts your way.

    • Laicie
      Posted August 7, 2014 at 5:40 pm | Permalink

      We do, and that support means the world. Thank you Erica!!

  4. Michelle
    Posted August 6, 2014 at 2:30 pm | Permalink

    I’m so sorry to hear this Laicie. Everything happens for a reason, and I’m sure you both will make it through.

    • Laicie
      Posted August 7, 2014 at 5:40 pm | Permalink

      I really do believe that it does. :) Thanks lady.

  5. Posted August 6, 2014 at 7:12 pm | Permalink

    How terribly unfortunate and unnerving. I only came upon your writing this week, and may be overstepping my bounds, but have recently been dealing with some life-shaking changes myself and found this post from Connie Chapman very helpful: http://conniechapman.com/6-signs-youre-in-a-process-of-transformation/. Thought you may be interested, as it seems this is the beginning of a transformative process for you and your husband. Sending positive and calming thoughts to you both…

    • Laicie
      Posted August 7, 2014 at 5:39 pm | Permalink

      You’re me at all!! Thank you so much for the recommendation, Heather!! I’ll definitely check it out.

  6. Posted August 6, 2014 at 7:54 pm | Permalink

    I’m sure this was a very difficult post to write. It’s amazing how real and authentic you are with your blog. You two will get through this with the kind of zeal and optimism you have shown to us throughout your many many posts on 1000 Threads. Keep us posted. We are here for you, all ears, cheering you two on!!

    • Laicie
      Posted August 7, 2014 at 5:38 pm | Permalink

      You are the best ever, lady. It means the world to have you cheering us on. :)

  7. huntfortheverybest
    Posted August 7, 2014 at 8:39 am | Permalink

    very nice! we always put cream cheese on ours. it looks delicious!

  8. Amanda L
    Posted August 7, 2014 at 9:03 am | Permalink

    As someone who has been laid-off twice, I definitely feel your pain. If there is anything I can do (buy a pie?? I have friends coming Saturday and homemade pie would be perrrrfect) please let me know. If you email me what Mark’s background is, I will check with my company as we are always hiring! Keep your head up!

    • Laicie
      Posted August 7, 2014 at 5:37 pm | Permalink

      Thank you Amanda, you’re so sweet!! I owe you an email, we’ll talk soon. :)

  9. Posted August 7, 2014 at 9:59 am | Permalink

    Oh no! I’m so sorry to hear this, Laicie :-( It’s always super scary when you face the unknown, but all you can do now is take it one day at a time and trust that things will work out in the end. Sending you guys lots of good juju!

    • Laicie
      Posted August 7, 2014 at 5:36 pm | Permalink

      Thanks lady, it means a lot. :) We’re trying to keep the faith!

  10. Posted August 8, 2014 at 12:34 pm | Permalink

    Laicie, I’m so sad to hear this. Even though we’ve only known each other for a short while, I know that you two will get through this and be better off in the long run. I know it’s so easy for others to say that, but you two are so talented and hard-working, and I know things will work out the way they’re supposed to. We are thinking of you and Mark. <3

    • Laicie
      Posted August 8, 2014 at 9:38 pm | Permalink

      Reema, I know we haven’t known each other long but I can’t say how lucky I feel to have met you and Jonathan. Thank you the world over, sweet friend. We really can use the encouragement right now.

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